Theresa May has announced that she will not allow Brussels sprouts “anywhere near” her dinner table this Christmas.

The Prime Minister has spent a lot of time in Brussels recently negotiating the Brexit deal and has decided that the presence of the city’s eponymous sprouts will ruin her Christmas dinner.

“I’m drawing a red line,” said May.

“It feels as if I’m over there every other day and I just need one meal without a bitter taste in my mouth.

“I will not let any member of Brussels, vegetable or otherwise, hold sway over No. 10 Downing Street.

“We’ll have a plate of falafel instead.”

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