In a statement issued to the Kabul stock exchange, the Taliban has revealed a significant decline in profits over the last financial quarter.

The announcement follows rumors of turmoil at the terrorist organisation in recent weeks. It is believed that the company had hoped to avert a public announcement through efficiency savings but the crisis appears to have deepened.

Economic experts have blamed the financial difficulties on uncompetitive employee packages and benefits that have failed to keep pace in a squeezed market.

The Financial Times has shed further light on the situation.

“The Taliban have lost a lot of core staff to ISIS for the simple reason that they are the more attractive employer. ISIS’s maternity package is far superior and they also offer a full five more virgins in the promised land.”


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