Tofu has recently come under fire after steak accused it of “culinary appropriation” and “peddling disrespect to the rich, tender history of steak”.

Although both foods have been around for centuries, their rivalry has become increasingly bitter in recent years, after steak claims tofu began “copying everything I do” and “biting my style”.

“It used to be obvious as to who was who. I was the hot, lean attractive one and tofu was the plain white blob,” complained steak.

“Now you get ‘fake steaks’ and ‘vegan T-bones’, all because tofu couldn’t develop its own look.

“And the worst thing? People are buying into it! If we both get listed on the same menu, at least half will choose tofu.

“All tofu offers is a pale imitation of me.”

Tofu’s response was brief and to-the-point.

“Pale? Racist.”


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