Donald Trump has announced that presidential candidate Dwayne “The Rock” Johnson will be ideal for dealing with the apocalyptic wasteland that he will leave behind.

“I’m the perfect President to start an apocalypse and The Rock is a perfect President to deal with the aftermath,” explained Trump.

“We are going to need a leader to kick some serious ass after a devastating nuclear war,” explained Trump, “and The Rock can drop the People’s Elbow on any misbehaving mutants.”

Johnson himself was more measured, stating that he actually hoped the apocalypse didn’t happen, as he was much more comfortable now on the beach with Zac Efron, rather than delivering Rock Bottoms in an apocalyptic wasteland.


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