Randy Gregory was reinstated to the NFL this week and celebrated the only way he knows how – by smoking copious amounts of marijuana.

“Being back in the NFL is a blessing,” proclaimed the former college standout, “and every blessing should be marked with a mountain of weed!”

“I invited some of my teammates round to help me smoke and celebrate, but they didn’t seem interested,” explained the bemused Defensive End.

“Tony Romo at least asked if I had any painkillers.”

Reportedly concerned about whether he was in football shape or not, Gregory also asked the Detroit Lions if they could arrange some PEDs to help him get back into action.


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