A request by the Russian Embassy for Vladimir Putin to visit Yulia Skripal in hospital and give her a ‘get well’ present of the Godfather trilogy is being considered by the UK government.

“We think she’ll enjoy the films,” said an Embassy spokesman, “especially the scene where Al Pacino visits his father in hospital.

“President Putin would like to visit Yulia himself, as he can’t trust anyone else to do it properly.

“We have told him about a lovely little corner shop at Porton Down. He’s going to buy some chocolates from there on his way to Salisbury.”

President Putin was quoted as saying that he planned to visit Yulia Skripal’s father as well when he was at the hospital.

“I will make him an offer he cannot refuse,” said Putin.

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