North Korea have revealed that they are to cater the next annual conference of the world’s political, financial and media elite, the secretive Bilderberg Group.

Kim Jong-Un is particularly happy to have landed this gig, as he sees it as a “real chance” to get close to a “seat at the table” of international diplomacy.

The Bilderberg Group is famous for burning statues of birds, so Jong-Un has commanded his catering staff to combine culinary preparation with ceremonial proceedings and serve barbecued owl hotpot with kimchee.

“The rice wine will flow, we will serve truly excellent summer rolls, and the overlords of the West will see that I’m not such a bad guy,” enthused Jong-Un.

“I have superior between-courses banter that I shall deploy whilst clearing the plates.”

US President Donald Trump will not be at next year’s conference for two reasons:

  • Sitting Presidents are not allowed to attend Bilderberg meetings
  • The one time Trump was allowed to attend in 2009, he pissed in a corner and groped a burning effigy of Angela Merkel

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