Well well well, what do we have to report today? It’s time to hand out March’s Mook Of The Month award! And the winner is…David Davis!

Together with Boris Johnson and Liam Fox, David Davis is one of the three Brexiteers. He stood against David Cameron in the Tory Leadership campaign of 2005.

He demonstrated early mook tendencies when, during his leadership bid, he was forced to deny that a stunt involving two well-endowed blonde women wearing “It’s DD for me” t-shirts was anything to do with him.

David Cameron retained this classy gent as Shadow Home Secretary until Davis resigned in 2008. He had been languishing on the backbenches ever since, until Theresa May brought him back into Government as Brexit Secretary.

His main contribution so far has been to apologise after private text messages emerged in which he insulted Shadow Home Secretary Diane Abbott.

Davis was reportedly told to “fuck off” by Abbott, as he thanked her for voting in favour of the legislation. He later texted a friend to say reports that he had tried to embrace the Hackney MP were untrue, because, “I am not blind.”

Abbott was said by friends to have been upset by reports of the remarks, which were leaked to the Mail on Sunday following a late-night encounter between the pair in a House of Commons bar.

MPs suggested the incident reflected poorly on Davis, with one senior female Tory (presumably not Theresa May?) saying, “It just shows his arrogance, and it’s a shame he’s been invited back into government.”

When questioned recently about the Brexit negotiations Davis said everything was going really well and asked, “What on earth could go wrong?”

What a fucking mook.

If you can think of a worthwhile candidate for April’s Mook Of The Month award, let us know on Facebook, Twitter or fill in the submission form to the right of this post.

Now get out there and spot some mooks!


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Mook of the Month