Drug cartels in Mexico have started running avocados instead of cocaine as the fruit is now more in demand than the drug and much more lucrative.

“The clean eating movement has been good for the cartel,” said Francisco Martinez, leader of the Sinaloa Cartel who up until recently had been dominating Mexico’s cocaine export industry.

“We saw warning signs when customers started asking our dealers where we sourced our cocaine. Supermarkets ask fewer questions, so we made the switch.”

“I can get through two bags of avos in a night,” said James Chesterson, a regular avocado user who lives in London.

“My girlfriend frets about what the saturated fat content will be doing to my heart but I’m always just like – babe, you only live once.”


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