A local NYC resident is claiming that he’s heard Donald Trump’s son-in-law and personal advisor, Jared Kushner, actually speak words out of his mouth.

“I was in a deli and I heard him ask for a ham and cheese sandwich,” said Larry Goldstone.

“It was extremely soft, slurred and sounded like someone gurgling mouthwash, but I am almost positive I heard his mouth produce words.”

Over the months since President Trump’s election there has been much speculation as to whether Kushner is actually a human being that can speak, or if in fact he is actually three dogs standing on each other’s shoulders with a suit on, trying to pass as a person.

“After his first month in the White House, I thought he was a hat rack,” said Trump advisor, Linda Weaver.

“But then one day he sneezed and I realized he is actually a human.”

Kushner has made quite the impact, blending completely conspicuously into the background of Trump’s administration.

However, political analysts have speculated on this latest development of Kushner saying actual words, declaring that it could potentially threaten his ability to be invisible and ineffective.

When President Trump was asked about his thoughts on Jared Kushner, his response was immediate and to the point.

“Who is that? Are you talking about my hat rack?”


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