A causal link has been discovered between being able to understand the chemtrails conspiracy theory and smoking top-grade marijuana.

Conspiracy theorists have long discussed the possibility the high-flying government-sanctioned aircraft have been spraying chemical or biological agents over the unsuspecting public.

However, being able to offer a cogent explanation of what chemtrails really are, who is deploying them, how exactly they are being administered and why the whole project is in existence at all has been very difficult to articulate for even the most ardent sceptic.

Until now.

Conspiracy theorist Randy Talbecker says that it took him a half-ounce of Purple Kush to wrap his head around the nuances of this complex hypothesis.

“Look, I was just like you. I was like ‘no way could that many people be conned without any solid evidence or legitimate whistleblowers coming out of the woodwork’!

“Then I hotboxed my room, streamed InfoWars for eight hours straight and it all came together in a montage, like in The Da Vinci Code, which I also now totally understand.”

Talbecker is planning to order a three grams of methamphetamine this weekend and really get to grips with the anti-vaccination movement.


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