Local jogger Harry Craven was arrested this morning for the murder of 42 fruit flies during his weekly evening run along the canal in Christleton, Chester.
Craven was forcibly restrained by eight armed police officers during a dusk raid.
But even these highly prepared and experienced legal enforcers were not ready for what they discovered.
The psychopathic jogger had covered his sweaty forehead with over 12 dead flies, in what can only have been a ritualistic and satanic ceremony.
Matters got worse when the fitness-mad murderer was taken to the station and subjected to a full cavity search.
A further 23 flies were found to have been indigested by Craven, in one of the worst acts of genocide for over 120 years.
The cold-hearted killer was remorseless.
“I really needed to beat Tom and Terence (colleagues of the runner) in next week’s 10K in Abersoch,” stated Craven without a hint of guilt.
“The flies were just collateral damage.”