Jeremy Hunt has promised that the NHS will receive 350 million new hospital beds just as soon as Brexit goes through, it has been announced.

The Secretary of State for Health has been under fire recently for his mismanagement of several key issues, including overcrowding in UK hospitals, but has assured the country that there will be plenty of beds for everyone after Brexit.

“Look guys, everyone’s going to get a bed. You’re going to get a bed. You’re going to get a bed. Even you’re going to get a bed and you don’t even need one!” insisted Hunt, gesturing wildly around the press conference he called yesterday.

“Whether you’ve got a broken leg, a runny nose, or the mid-week blues, we will have a bed for you.

“We just need that Brexit cash cow to start spurting milk and then I’m straight on the phone to my contact in China and getting them in at a pound a pop.



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