It was announced today that a reboot of Harry Potter is to take place with Jacob Rees-Mogg replacing Daniel Radcliffe as Harry.
The new movie is based around an intriguing alternative reality in which Harry goes along with the Sorting Hat’s suggestion to join the Hogwarts’ House of Slytherin.
The film will is titled Harry Potter: The Slytherin Years.
“I just know I’m perfect for this new interpretation of Harry,” explained Rees-Mogg.
“Aside from my youthful wizard looks, I’m the perfect man to help Harry make tough decisions, which are in the best interests of Hogwarts, Britain and the Malfoy family.
“Let’s just say that Harry won’t be fraternising with any mudbloods or getting involved in the Triwizard Tournament.”
The film will also star Theresa May as Hermione Granger, Boris Johnson as a portly Draco Malfoy and Jeremy Corbyn as Arthur Weasley.
Jeremy Hunt will portray Minister of Magic Cornelius Fudge, who will be ‘forced’ into a number of budget cuts at Hogwarts before being promoted.