The tired and emotionally drained waitress that has been taking your orders all night would “absolutely love” for you to give her your phone number in lieu of a cash gratuity.
“Oh, that table of rowdy guys who have been monopolising my time all night want to leave me a phone number instead of money? Get out of town, that’s amazing!” exclaimed the waitress.
“I thought the ten-minute education on how the bartender should really be making the Old Fashioneds that they sent back twice was enough, but a phone number would be the cherry on the top.”
The waitress also said that if you could throw in advice on improving her outfit, getting a better job and how often she should smile then that would be “just swell”.