ESPN President John Skipper announced Monday that he is resigning from the network due to losing a “totally winnable” bet with some of his closest bros.
According to sources, during a recent wicked house party at Danny Manscoff’s crib, a few of Skipper’s best bros bet the network’s President he couldn’t eat six goldfish in under a minute.
“Suck it you pussies. I can eat at least a dozen, you fat fucks,” said Skipper, responding to the challenge.
However, after a minute the disgraced ESPN President was only able to eat three and a half goldfish.
And then he completely hurled all over Manscoff’s dope new white leather couch.
Which was so lame and ended the bro bash on an uncool note, especially since Manscoff rented the couch from Rent-a-Center and had future plans to tongue Stacy Mcmillian while Netflixing together on Saturday night.
“Skip is always saying he runs harder than the whole squad,” added Boomer Bailey Ashcroft, Manscoff’s closest bro.
“But when everything’s really laid on the line, he face-plants like a true troll.”
Because of this incident Manscoff has decided to shut down his crazy-ass house parties for a few weeks, so he can recover from the hurling and think on his bro-lationship with Skipper.
After his resignation, Skipper has decided to hit some waves and chill with some indica for “probably a few weeks”.