In an interesting turn of events, Russian officials have hired recently fired FBI Director James Comey to continue an investigation into themselves.
“The investigation was just starting to get exciting. We wanted to see how everything turns out,” said Russian aide, Gal Balinski.
“It’s like stopping watching a TV show in the middle of the season. Did we hack the US election? Or didn’t we? Did Trump talk to us secretly? Or didn’t he? It’s all just very tense and dramatic.”
Comey will pick up his investigation of Russia right where he left off, just from a much colder climate and with the looming uncertainty of whether he’ll be taken out back and shot or not.
“This is the most exciting thing to happen to Russia since that time Vlad from Moscow ate fifteen eggs at one time,” said Vlad from Moscow’s cousin, Dmitry.
An advisor to Russia’s President Vladimir Putin concluded, “We all wish Comey much luck in finding the truth and we don’t think anything bad will happen to him at all, no matter what he finds. Nothing bad at all. For real.”