As part of the ‘breakthrough’ Brexit deal negotiated last week, the Channel Tunnel will become one-way only after Britain leaves the EU.

“Our analysis, done in excruciating detail, has revealed that millions of people are coming over from Europe through the Channel Tunnel,” announced Brexit Secretary David Davis.

“The electorate voted overwhelmingly in the Referendum to take back control of our borders.

“We therefore intend to introduce a one-way system in the Channel Tunnel as soon as is practical.

Michael Gove agreed with his fellow Brexiteer.

“It will not only allow EU citizens to leave the UK but also prevent any more coming here via this back-door route, which we have only recently become aware of,” explained Gove.

“Anyone who disagrees with this is going against the will of the people.”

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