As Storm Aileen rages throughout the UK causing mild flooding and slight travel disruption, Bob Geldof is organising a benefit concert for its victims.
The Band Aid organiser and Boomtown Rats frontman has previously arranged concerts for victims of similar natural disasters, including Live Aid for the relief of the ongoing Ethiopian famine and a charity single for the Labour Party.
“There are residents in south Gloucestershire who cannot get to the pub,” said an impassioned Geldof.
“Anyone living in south Gloucestershire should have access to alcohol at all times. Christ help them.”
Met Office forecaster Emma Sharples described the seriousness of the UK’s weather crisis.
“It’s probably a bit unusual to get that sort of strength of winds [in September],” said Sharples.
“You’d normally expect that in October or November.”
“Tony Blair has agreed to play lead guitar,” enthused Geldof.
“What else do we need?”