Violent protests have broken out at Berkeley University after the student faculty allowed a cheese and pepperoni sandwich to feature on the specials menu of the campus café.

Student activist Lola Phillips was amongst those who rioted.

“It’s unbelievably bigoted that they allowed this sandwich to appear anywhere near my menu, with its divisive ‘oh, dairy isn’t actually that bad for you’ hate-blurb. Disgraceful.

“What if other people taste it and prefer it to the peanut butter and jelly? And then start exploring other sandwich fillings? Where will it end?

“No no, demolishing the café and setting fire to the staff was the only decent thing to do.”


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