Bachelor In Paradise’s filming was suspended again this week, as the contestants didn’t make enough bad decisions to create an entertaining show.

After allegations were made by a contestant involving inappropriate behavior, the show went into hiatus.

When filming resumed the producers decided to stop serving alcohol to the contestants.

Quickly after that decision, producers realized how boring, vapid and soulless the people they were filming actually were.

Without the help of alcohol, the contestants resorted to talking about their workout regimes, how they are starting a clothing line and/or a jewellery design company, and eventually how they “take being a social media influencer very seriously.”

Other conversations between contestants focused on how a lower carb diet can help with energy throughout the day and if Chris Harrison actually died three years ago and is now a robot created to outlive humanity and start the Bachelor series after the apocalypse.

“This season has been really eye opening for us,” said Bachelor producer, Martin Hilton.

“Who would’ve guessed that these people weren’t engaging, smart, introspective, multi-layered individuals? Not us. I mean, they all seemed so brilliant in casting.”

While plans for the fourth season of Bachelor in Paradise are still in the works, producers are considering shooting it somewhere “a little more entertaining” for the audience.

Suggested locations have been the Congo, on a sinking cruise ship, and North Korea.


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