Labour’s Momentum movement is reeling today after the Conservative party launched their own grassroots campaign, ‘Activate’, which has been welcomed by the youth with open arms.
“It’s a fantastic idea,” explained 63-year-old Tory social media expert Alfred Higgleworth-Tomkinson.
“We spent £500,000 conducting extensive research and discovered that young people love these invisible things called ‘hashtags’. Turns out they’re free! So we put one on every word. That’ll get the kids jazzed.”
The Momentum campaign is currently in disarray.
“At first it just seemed like another load of Tory bollocks, but then we read their snappy 63-word slogan and the truth of the matter began to sink in,” said a spokesperson for Momentum.
“We assumed that the youth vote would always be in Labour’s pocket and this whole Momentum thing would be a cakewalk for us. But as Activate points out, they aim to ‘reclaim the youth vote’, meaning that at one point they actually had it. We didn’t realise.”
Some of the public have criticised Activate for charging up to £500 for membership to a party that doesn’t appear to offer anything other than access to a private online forum.
Activate responded with the offer of a free yo-yo for every third sign-up.
Higgleworth-Tomkinson is launching a new meme tomorrow with “striking imagery” that will “appeal to everyone”.
“Here’s the tagline: ‘You don’t have to like fox hunting to join Activate…but it helps!'”