Zlatan Ibrahimović announced today that he will be establishing his own religion in 2017, the Church of Zlatan.
Manchester United’s Swedish megastar declared that proving himself in the Premier League was only part of the reason he came to the UK.
Ibrahimovic was reportedly inspired by the English reformation pushed forward by Henry VIII, as he did not want to be subject to papal supremacy. Or any other forms of supremacy.
There will be various monuments of Zlatan erected in churches across the country, capturing some of the self-pronounced deity’s scoring poses from across his illustrious career.
“I thought it was important to give my fans a place of worship,” explained the free-scoring forward.
“It will have elements of Christianity, Islam and Buddhism.
“But, more importantly, it will be all Zlatan.”
Tom Cruise and John Travolta have allegedly inquired about joining fees.