A liberal man has asked his drug dealer whether the cocaine that he buys every weekend is ethically sourced.

James Chesterson is a champion of the farm-to-table restaurant movement and is applying this ethical approach to consumerism to all of his purchases.

“I now specifically request Toyota Prius Ubers for my seven-minute taxi ride to and from work each day,” smiled Chesterson.

“And I never ask for a bag at Whole Foods. I usually just carry my shopping home in my hands.”

Now Chesterson wants to know that the cocaine that he snorts each Friday night is of the highest ethical purity.

“I asked Vincent if he could name every field in Bolivia where each gram is grown. And is he using his human mules as efficiently as possible?”

Vincent has been selling drugs to James ever since they met at a dubstep rave in Brixton.

“I get the coke off my brother Kevin and then cut it with teething powder and ground-up aspirin before selling it to James and his mates at a 700% mark-up,” explained Vincent.

“I guess I could tell him that I nick the aspirin from Boots?”

Comments