MOOK NEWS

After calling nine other world leaders, Donald Trump finally phoned Theresa May while inebriated, it has been revealed.

An inside source on his staff stated that the President elect made it through the first six leaders sober but by the time he reached Japan’s Shinzo Abe, he needed a drink.

Once he’d finished all other business, Trump poured a large measure of whiskey, loaded May’s UN profile picture on his laptop and pressed the UK Prime Minister’s number.

“I wanted to save the best ’til last. I did. And you, Tabitha, are without a doubt the best.”

Cradling his phone between his ear and shoulder, Trump went on to declare, “You know we’ve got a special relationship. Well I’d like to make it a little more special. I would.”

May apparently hung up, describing the late-night call as, “Divisive, unhelpful and wrong.”

After reportedly mixing another two Jack Daniel’s and cokes, Trump redialled May and became more to the point.

“I’d like to reach across the Atlantic and grab you by the…oh, what do you call it over there? A glovebox?”

 

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