Theresa May has asked Boris Johnson to spend his trip to Russia teaching journalists about the importance of expression and integrity.

The Foreign Secretary is seen as the perfect man for the job, especially given his ability to change his political views as the situation dictates.

Some observers feel that it is a risky move to send Johnson to Russia for that purpose, especially given the inflammatory comments May made about Russian President Vladimir Putin, influencing voting in Slough during the general election.

“I’ll really miss Boris when he’s Russia,” said a tearful May.

He is so loyal to me. I just hope he comes back in one piece, I’ve heard accidents happen out in Russia all the time and I would hate it if Boris was offed in a vodka-fuelled snow fire fight.”

When asked for comment, Michael Gove had no idea why the Foreign Secretary was going to Russia.

In fact, he didn’t know that Johnson was going to Russia at all.

Or who Johnson is.

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