Local man Aaron Joseph told a co-worker that the only thing getting him through his “heroic” Dry January attempt was copious drug use.
Mr Joseph, who gave up alcohol for a month for health reasons, said that he found that a mountain of weed along with the occasional injection of heroin was the perfect substitute for his usual 30 beers a week.
“I knew I had to do something to save my liver,” said a laid-back Joseph, before taking a last drag on a joint and tossing it into one of the empty pizza boxes strewn around his floor.
Joseph is not just doing Dry January for self-preservation, as he is also collecting charity sponsorships.
His friends have praised Joseph’s effort as “Herculean”, and have been more than generous in their donations.
“I’ve raised more than my friend Rob, and he’s doing an Ironman in February!”