Donald Trump has announced that any states that voted for Hillary Clinton will be obliged to put forward two child tributes to take part in HBO’s upcoming Hunger Games reality TV show.
All children of the ages of 12-18 from each ‘blue state’ will write their names on a slip and place it into a hat, with one girl and one boy then chosen.
The selected children will then fight to the death in an arena, currently thought to be an old Westworld set, until one survivor is declared the winner.
The victor will take home an oil drum, 1% stock in the Dakota Access pipeline, and a lifetime supply of Trump steaks.
The action will be televised on HBO’s new 24-hour Hunger Games channel, with the tributes having access to expert celebrity advice.
Woody Harrelson and Arnold Schwarzenegger are both rumored to have signed up and are ready to pass on their deadly game show knowledge, with the show hosted by Trump himself.
“It makes perfect use of both my reality TV skills and my position as the most powerful man in the world,” beamed the President-elect.
“I enjoyed doing The Apprentice but it lacked a certain degree of brutal deaths.”
The State of Texas has reportedly called Trump to ask if they can take part, even though they voted Republican.