Weeping protestors at Standing Rock, North Dakota are just overcome with happiness, according to the police who tear-gassed the crowd.

When 300 Native Americans and non-Native protestors realized the boost that the Dakota Access Pipeline could give the US economy, they broke down in elated emotion, moments after the police fired tear gas canisters at their feet.

Dakota police chief Brian Johnson remarked, “It was a beautiful sight. When the gathered mob saw the magnitude of what this $3.7 billion project can do for the country’s crude oil business, they just broke down into sobs of unrestrained elation.

Some of them even fell to their knees, presumably to thank God for their new clarity.”

Johnson witnessed similar acts of immediate cognizance when transferred to Ferguson in order to deal with civil unrest in the city.

“I saw one black man faint with delight at the sudden comprehension of what a fair and just legal system can do for America, right after I pounded him in the head with my nightstick.

Another beautiful sight.”

 

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