Donald Trump’s victory in the recent US election can be blamed solely on satire sites, agrees every liberal everywhere.

“If it wasn’t for the proliferation of parodic news stories on social media, Donald Trump would never have stood a chance of winning. The right-leaning contingent get confused because their brains are smaller than ours,” nodded liberal pundit and coffee sommelier James Chesterson.

Kelly McNally, a newly-converted Trump supporter from Orlando, Florida, said, “I was weighing up whether to vote for Clinton or get a pedicure on November 8th but then I read an article on The Onion that claimed that Hillary is actually an evil AI robot sent over from Russia to ensure that I pay a higher property tax and I thought: Woah. Woah. No way. Something’s gotta change.”

Chesterson continued his thoughts over a matcha latte, “We have to stop enjoying articles that lampoon the ridiculousness of global politics and take a look at our own failings. Let’s start to really criticize ourselves. Well, not me exactly, but people like me. Like my Facebook friends.

“If the left wants to move past this tragedy, then we have to start engaging with the opposition. Unless it means talking to them. Ew.”

 

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