Thousands of elves working for Santa Claus are threatening to go on strike after it was revealed that 90% of them are on zero-hour contracts.
One elf who wished to remain anonymous stated, “There’s no guarantee of work. We just have to wait for a phone call to tell us when we’re needed.”
Another elf, calling himself Legolas, decried the working conditions at Santa’s Grotto.
“It’s freezing in the warehouse, the pay is non-existent and there’s no pension.”
A spokesman for Santa responded by saying, “The work is very seasonal and we need flexibility to survive in today’s competitive marketplace.
“Lots of elves tell us that they enjoy the freedom that zero-hour contracts provide.”