Following a booze-filled night that ended with Chinese karaoke, Pep Guardiola decided to ring his ex-star player, Lionel Messi.
“I never should have left you, Lionel,” slurred the Manchester City manager, who is enduring a difficult first season in the Premier League. “Remember how good we were together? 14 trophies in 4 years!
“We made magic out there together.”
Guardiola reportedly went on to say how he had tried to replace Messi with Arjen Robben at Bayern Munich and Sergio Aguero at Manchester City, but how it just wasn’t the same.
“Sergio is good, but he is a forward and I don’t like forwards,” lamented the inebriated coach, “and he gets sent off nearly as often as Fernandinho.
“Vincent Kompany spends most of his time in A&E and Yaya Toure keeps asking me what am I arranging for his birthday this year.”
He then reportedly begged the Argentinian star to join him in Manchester and enjoy the nightlife, the friendly people and the chip barms.
Guardiola reportedly gave up when Messi asked him how the beach was.