MOOK NEWS

Oscar Pistorius is currently entertaining a number of offers from various top flight reality TV shows, according to his team of lawyers.

Oscar could not be more marketable at this time,” enthused lead defence advocate Barry Roux. “Everybody wants a piece of Oscar and I can understand why.

Roux stated that Pistorius has confirmed offers from both Strictly Come Dancing and Dancing With The Stars and has already been installed as the early favorite to win both shows. “A combination of Oscar’s athletic ability and the fact that the judges are going to be reluctant to give him anything less than a 9 makes Oscar very difficult to bet against,” confided one bookmaker.

Pistorius is also apparently very interested in an appearance on The Voice.

Oscar has the voice of an angel,” stated a member of his legal team, “and The Voice is the perfect opportunity for him to showcase his talents and be judged only for his singing.

I mean, can you imagine the look on the judges’ faces when they press their button and turn to see Oscar belting out ‘Delilah’? It’s going to be television gold.

Pistorius is also apparently in advanced negotiations regarding an appearance on Celebrity Big Brother.

Oscar would be a major shot in the arm for the show,” admitted a CBB producer. “For too long we have relied upon reality shows to create celebrities for our celebrity reality shows. But Oscar is a legitimate star in both the sporting and legal worlds.

Can you imagine the arguments when one of the contestants wants to allocate more of the shopping budget to cigarettes and milk, but Oscar is adamant that the firearm stock needs replenishing? And routine activities like going to the bathroom will suddenly become tense edge-of-your-seat affairs for viewers and contestants alike!” gushed the producer.

Discussions were temporarily delayed by the need for Pistorius to be granted temporary release from prison to appear on the show; however, it was pointed out that conditions in the Big Brother house will potentially be much worse than those Pistorius currently faces, so formal confirmation is expected soon.

 

 

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