Continually looking for the next innovation in transportation, Elon Musk, owner and CEO of Telsa Motors Corp. announced plans for Tesla’s next car to run completely on endangered species.

“Our engineers discovered the bones, tissue and blood of almost-extinct animal species can be used as fuel to power our cars more efficiently than electricity,” said Lance Mueller, lead engineer of Telsa Motors.

“We found that using endangered species, like the Snow Leopard, the Giant Panda and the Ivory-billed Woodpecker, as fuel allows our cars to be at least 33% more efficient, while only requiring half the energy of traditional electric cars.”

Tesla is additionally experimenting with a line of cars that will use semi-endangered animals such as the Bengal Tiger as fuel, but early reporters have concluded that the rarer species burn much cleaner and produce much more energy.

“We can’t solve all of the problems in the world, so we made the decision to focus solely on fixing climate change through reducing vehicle emissions,” said Bill Fader, a lead designer at Tesla Motors.

“And if that means losing a few dozens types of animals in the world, so be it.

“I mean, there are thousands of types of animals. What’s a few less? Especially the ones that can kill us back.”

Sources close to Tesla have reported the company is also experimenting with using the bones of puppies and kittens as a way to power the internal controls of all of their Tesla models.

 

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