With the return of NCAA football fans everywhere are breathing a sigh of relief, as they’re finally able to stop pretending to enjoy watching major league baseball.
“Honestly it was getting pretty bad there for a while,” said Derrick Hampson, a self-proclaimed LA Dodgers fan.
“It’s exhausting to watch MLB and act like anything interesting is going on. I mean, is striking someone out supposed to be entertaining? I’m seriously asking?
“Mostly I’d just watch when other people started to cheer and just cheer with them. It is great to take a nap to, though.”
MLB officials seem to be in the same boat as fans, with some even more excited for the return of college football.
“I’m a huge University of Florida football fan, so I love this time of year,” said Chief Communications Officer Patrick Courtney.
“Plus it’s so much better than watching grown men in full bodysuits spit sunflower seeds onto a field.”
A recent survey of MLB fans found that 98% prefer watching NCAA football with the sound off and in standard definition with a terrible signal rather than attending an actual MLB game.
Perhaps with the MLB playoffs quickly approaching fans will change their mind.
But unless the MLB somehow figures out how to turn baseball into a sport in which players go head to head, tackling each other as they try to move a ball 100 yards up a field to score points, experts predict that this just isn’t going to happen.