Instead of visiting Donald Trump’s White House as most NBA championship teams do, the Golden State Warriors will instead visit a Medieval Times off the New Jersey turnpike.
The Warriors have decided that instead of meeting the President of the United States, they’d rather show their respects to a different king – Fred Hertan of Haddonfield, NJ, who plays the “King” during the Medieval Times’ show.
“We don’t see any real difference between meeting Trump and Mr. Hertan,” said the Warriors’ Head Coach Steve Kerr.
“Both are pretending to be kings. Both are awful actors. Both smell like old chicken. They’re essentially the same person.”
“Our team feels way more safe around jousting knights, flame-eaters and sword fights than at the White House right now,” added assistant GM, Chris Carson,
“And safety and comfort for our team is our number one priority.”
Sources close to the Warriors have reported that the entire team is also afraid that Jared Kushner will try to steal their souls through the dark powers bestowed upon him by the Lord of the Underworld.
“It’s a serious concern.”