JK Rowling and Piers Morgan have revealed that their recent Twitter spat was just a mask for the “hot and heavy” affair that they began earlier this year.
The Harry Potter author tweeted about her delight at watching Piers Morgan be told to “Fuck off!” by comedian Jim Jeffries on a live TV show over his declaration that there is “no Muslim ban” in the US.
This sparked an online firestorm, with Piers claiming that he’d “never read a single word of Harry Potter”.
However, this was all just a smokescreen to cover up the fact that the two high-profile celebrities have been having adulterous sex for the last month.
“When I saw the way that Piers carefully dissects his Good Morning Britain co-hosts’ opinions with articulate, prudent rationality, I knew I just had to have him,” confessed Rowling, who invited herself to the weekly book club that Morgan runs in order to meet the former News Of The World editor.
“What first attracted me to the billionaire author JK Rowling? Hmm, let me think…” smiled Morgan.