After the shock announcement that London is revoking Uber’s licence, Mayor Sadiq Khan has revealed that the private car-hire operator firm will be replaced with horse-drawn carriages.

“Sometimes in order to take one step forward, we need to take a few steps back,” said Khan.

Uber’s rapacious, misogynistic attitude is entirely outdated in 2017, which is why they need to go.

“Horse-drawn hansom cabs will be the ideal replacement.”

Londoners will be able to summon the horse-cabs via the app ClipClop, which has a feature that allows customers to tip the horse a sugar cube if they feel as if they have received particularly good service.

“And unless Airbnb pull their socks up, visitors to London will be staying at coaching inns,” said Khan.

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