In an attempt to clean up his image, disgraced Hollywood mogul Harvey Weinstein has released a list of women that he has not sexually harassed.
“I thought that it was time to show the world that I wasn’t a creep to every woman I interacted with,” said Weinstein.
“That there were some I didn’t even masturbate on.”
Weinstein’s list includes three women: his second grade teacher, a woman at Whole Foods that works the deli counter, and news anchor Megyn Kelly.
“While I realize it’s not a very long list, I believe this will prove that I’m not the sexual predator many claim I am,” added Weinstein.
“For example, Megyn Kelly is a very attractive woman, and I did not sexually harass her. However, we did have sex.”
Weinstein’s team planned on publishing the list with a full-page ad in the New York Times this past weekend.
However, due to some new information that has come to light, the list needs revisions before it can be published.
“We’re actually in the process of retracting Megyn Kelly’s name from the list, as it has come to our attention that Harvey did actually sexually harass her,” said Glen Lewis, head of Weinstein’s PR team.
“However, she was probably asking for it, what with wearing skirts that short.”
Weinstein could not be reached for further comment, but was last seen heading towards the deli counter at Whole Foods.