A new study from Harvard University proves conclusively what many people already knew: people who wear Apple’s wireless Bluetooth earbuds are terrible people.
“We found that those who wore the earbuds and walked around in public were particularly awful,” said Jane Wilcox, head of social sciences at Harvard.
“We learned that nearly all of the earbud wearers exclusively shopped at Urban Outfitters, Barney’s and Hot Topic.”
Most people who wear Apple earbuds list their occupations as “Digital Ninja” or “Creative Guru”, while those remaining claim to be CEOs of companies at which they are the only employee.
Further studies into the phenomena have discovered that 95% of people who wear Apple earbuds in public also have full conversations with them in, often while working out at a crowded gym.
“Studies like these help us understand the human species a bit more,” explained Wilcox.
“For example what we’ve learned is that Apple understood they need a product that appealed to people who love using the saying ‘Let’s short it’, listen to books on tape about ‘becoming your own boss,’ and whose favorite movie is Fast and Furious 7.”
Harvard has said their next study will study the link between serial killers and people who watch C-SPAN for more than an hour at a time.