Stunned by the US election result, the founders of democracy have conceded that the current political system has had its day and should be replaced by hand-to-hand combat between elected officials.
With the British people voting their country out of Europe and Donald Trump emerging victorious in the race for the US Presidency, it is clear that democracy is a failing system.
It has been agreed that election-by-combat is cheaper, easier to administer and would make great TV for networks such as HBO.
“Whenever Tyrion Lannister felt as if he wasn’t going to get the right result, he just got a friend to fight to the death for him,” observed one Greek philosopher. “And it’s worked out fine so far.”
Whilst being brutal and somewhat barbaric, election-by-combat offers the intriguing possibility of a duel to the death between the candidates or champions nominated by the candidates.
“I mean, who wouldn’t want to see Arnold Schwarzenegger facing off for the Republicans against either Matt Damon or Katy Perry in a Hillary Clinton mask?” posited another Athenian pundit.
“That bloodbath would certainly be more interesting than worrying about the voting demographics in Florida and probably more likely to produce an acceptable result.”