After a tough year for celebrity mortality, the Presley family is pleased to announce that Elvis has made it to 2017.
Speaking from Graceland, Lisa Marie Presley confirmed the good news to an awe-struck fanbase.
“The King is stronger than ever and is even planning a duet with my ex-husband.”
A lifelong Elvis fan, 15-year-old Michelle Green, was overjoyed to hear that one of her icons had survived the curse of 2016.
“It means so much to me that Elvis has held on throughout such a tough year.
“It’s really sad that George Bowie died. Her Purple Rain song was such an inspiration to me when I needed to pass my driving test.
“However, it was a great excuse to show my Facebook friends what exquisite music taste I have by sharing a dozen YouTube clips per day. Every cloud…”