Creationist mining company Spirit Mining in Bozeman, Montana is earning praise by stating that they won’t drill deeper than 6,000 years.

“What’s the point? There’s literally nothing below 6,000 years of Earth crust. After that, it’s just hell juice and brimstone fire,” said Spirit Mining owner, Ted Connelly.

“It’s simple. God made the Earth, dinosaurs, woolly mammoths, weird lizard things, mermaids and man 6,000 years ago. So whatever we’re finding is going to be above 6,000 years.”

“He’s very adamant that dinosaur bones are just really, really fat people from about 1,000 years ago,” added Spirit drill operator, Bill Levingston.

“And I agree.”

Since President Trump’s election Spirit Mining has seen a boost of 1,000,000% boost in sales.

“I’m glad that people are starting to finally catch on that God had a plan 6,000 years ago,” Connelly concluded.

“And that plan was to create the Earth and then have Donald Trump rule it as its supreme leader.”

 

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