Sean Spicer has condemned millions of “unpatriotic” Americans who continued to watch The Apprentice after Arnold Schwarzenegger replaced the President as host of the reality TV show.
“I literally can’t believe that people are continuing to watch that show,” fumed the White House Press Secretary.
“The only possible reason to watch that show now is to attack our Commander and President and show your support for terrorism.”
The “brutal and unprovoked attack on Donald Trump” was too much for Spicer, especially after certain US clothing stores had just “committed treason” by failing to stock Ivanka Trump’s clothing range.
“If you do or say anything negative in respect of the President’s family, businesses, favorite sports teams or pets, then you are launching an attack on the leader of the free world and you should be tortured and then put down,” concluded Spicer, before storming out of the press conference, pausing only to punch a New York Times journalist in the face.