Looking to add further talent to their team, the Cleveland Browns were quick to pounce after the Democrats waived Hillary Clinton this week, allegedly for salary cap reasons.
Clinton is expected to slot right into starting quarterback, where she should provide an immediate upgrade on Cody Kessler.
“We are always looking to upgrade our roster,” enthused Browns’ head coach Hue Jackson, “and being able to bring in a couple of proven pro-bowl caliber veterans in Jamie Collins and Hillary Clinton is a huge boost for this franchise.”
Whilst Clinton has had issues with authority in her recent career, the Browns are clearly just delighted to sign a leader who is neither suspended nor in rehab.
A lot of NFL teams were put off by Clinton’s 0-1 record, but Jackson was adamant that Cleveland was the place for her to prosper.
“You know she had a lot of intense expectations from Democrat fans and players coming into that election,” explained Jackson. “Just because her opponent had apparently alienated over half the electorate, she was expected to get the win in regulation.
“She won’t find any expectations in Cleveland. We’ve only managed to have two winning seasons over the past twenty years and most of our players don’t even manage to watch the Super Bowl, let alone get close to appearing in it.”