On the day that they were both released from prison, Chelsea Manning revealed that she and Rolf Harris have been pen pals for three years and are officially engaged.
“We have so much in common,” gushed Manning.
“We were both victimised by the press and unfairly treated.”
“Although we have never met, we have exchanged photos on Instagram and he looks pretty fit for an 87-year-old.”
“We hope to marry sometime next year,” said Harris, on his release from Stafford prison.
“We have plans for a reality TV show and joint memoirs to be published in time for Christmas.”
Australian-born Harris currently faces the prospect of being deported from the UK to help the Conservative Party meet their net migration target, a factor that may hinder the lovebirds’ marriage plans.