England cricket vice-captain Ben Stokes was arrested after a brawl in Bristol, which he says was a “warm up” for the Ashes.
Stokes broke his finger during the fight, but has reassured England fans that the fracas was sanctioned by the ECB in order to prepare him for England’s upcoming match against Australia.
The Australian cricket team is big and aggressive and if a team-on-team brawl breaks out, England will be almost completely reliant on Stokes to inflict some damage.
“Alastair Cook and James Anderson look good, but aren’t much use in a fist fight,” explained Stokes.
“And Joe Root can swing a punch, but he’s only eight stone.”
“Ben’s prison experience will be invaluable in Australia, the home of convicts,” pointed out ECB director Andrew Strauss.
If he is charged and prevented from touring Australia, Stokes is reportedly planning to face Rio Ferdinand in his professional boxing debut.