Donald Trump has put to rest any doubts about non-existent terrorist attacks by announcing that Bowling Green is in fact a small town in Sweden.

“The Swedish are trying to keep it quiet,” explained the President, “so we don’t know exactly how many died.

“But we do know it was a massacre.”

Trump explained that the terrorists were dressed as an ABBA tribute group and all had distant relatives in each of the seven countries mentioned in the travel ban.


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