Bob Geldolf has decided to re-record Do They Know It’s Christmas once again, this time in support of the Labour Party.
The ex-singer of The Boomtown Rats usually dedicates all proceeds from the Christmas single to starving children in Africa.
But with Labour divided, dropping to a historical low in the polls and performing disastrously in by-elections, Geldolf had seen enough.
“I’ve never seen such desperation and self-loathing,” sighed Geldolf.
“They have a leader with the charisma of a dead fish and their most popular MP is Ed Balls, who isn’t even an MP anymore.”
Geldolf has used his weighty influence to assemble an array of megastars to perform the perennial hit.
Bono, Cheryl Cole, Paloma Faith, Lily Allen, One Direction, Honey G and Tony Blair have all agreed to record the charity classic.
“Bob showed me a video of them losing their deposit at the Richmond by-election,” said an emotional Paloma Faith.
“It broke my heart.”
Bono had the final word though, “Well tonight thank God it’s them instead of you.”