The American Psychiatric Association will include compulsive avocado squeezing as a recognised fetish in the next edition of its diagnostic handbook of mental disorders.

Psychologist Hannah C. Jones acknowledged that the disorder may have gone unrecognized for many years and that Avocaphilia should be added to the diagnostic and statistical manual (DSM VI).

“It is apparent that we may have been seeing the disorder for a considerable time but conflating it with normal avocado-seeking behavior, as people attempt to select suitably ripe fruits.”

One supermarket manager who preferred not to be named said that he has been trying to alert the authorities to the problem for years.

“I always knew there was something weird going on. We had one guy in a trenchcoat who would come in up to 10 times a day.

“He would squeeze and fondle all the avocados and groan a bit before shuffling out without buying anything.”

It is hoped that with official recognition, much needed resources will follow, including helplines and support groups for those afflicted.

 

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